Lights
by Reda
Summary: Gohan tried not to blame himself. His mother needed him to be strong. His father was gone and it was hard to move on without that presence in his life. And yet, the birth of a little brother managed to keep their family light burning bright for years to come.
1. Newborns

**Lights**

 **A/N:** The GoChi High School fic will be updated as soon as I finish this short story. This is seven chapters long. I have struggled with a lot of things lately and I think using this fic to get back into the swing of things has been very helpful.

 **Chapter 1:** Newborns

Newborns were loud.

 _Very_ loud, apparently. Gohan couldn't focus on anything in his study books because of the constant noise. He had a hard enough time keeping his thoughts from wandering already, but add on the wailing of a baby and any attempt at focus was an impossible dream. Even up here in his room, he couldn't find the peace and quiet he needed to work through the tough mathematical problems in his books.

His attention slipped away from the study material. His eyes drifted from the scratches made by his pen on paper to the breeze blowing the white curtains in his room. Faded white curtains. Yellowing white. Had they always been that color or had his mother really been too busy to keep up her normal cleaning routines? It was hard to know for sure. His mother sure hadn't been the same since Cell, since his father's passing, but the birth of Goten had seemed like a good spark to revitalize her. Not that he cared about the colors of his curtains, but Chi-Chi had always been so on top of routines.

One of the lessons and habits she'd passed down to him.

Having his study routines interrupted always felt so _wrong_ , like the colors of the day were faded and off whenever Gohan broke away from the day's plan. When his dad had been alive, though, the color change of broken routine had created a bright glow, like a fun change of pace was a good thing to shake up life every once in a while. Now, everything dimmed down to dull grays, like the brightness itself was fading…

The crack in the baby's cry snapped Gohan out of his thoughts and he shook his head, looking away from the curtains and the window. Blushing because of the strange thoughts he'd had on symbolic color meanings in life, Gohan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, set his pen down, closed his book, and stood up out of his wooden chair. Regardless of routine, he needed a break at this point. Besides, from the sound of it, his mother needed help with the baby.

A few steps across his room to open the door and then a few more to travel downstairs, following the sound of the crying baby. By what his mother had told him, Goten was actually a pretty well behaved mild-mannered newborn. Apparently, Gohan had been _much_ louder and much harder to deal with at such a young age. Of course, he had quieted down significantly through the passage of time, but it was a little hard to imagine anyone being louder than Goten.

Granted, there were challenges involved with Goten that hadn't been present with Gohan – and Gohan wasn't going to bring up the absence of his father just to make a point or comparison. Either way, Goten was whining for something now and their mother had yet to leave her room. Which resulted in Gohan standing at the door to his parent's bedroom, hearing the wailing on the other side (since Goten's crib was in the master bedroom, after all), and hesitating to knock on the door to get Chi-Chi's attention.

Did his mom really need him? Was Goten just being a – well, just being a baby? Was everything all right?

He bit his lip and shuffled his feet in front of the door as he tried to come to a decision. He didn't like knowing his mom had locked herself in her room _again_ , but it was still early enough in the morning to not make too big of a fuss over it. Sure, Gohan had made himself a small breakfast this morning before hopping into his studies, but that was almost normal at this point. Gone were the days when Chi-Chi would be the first one awake in the Son household. But was it really something worth worrying over?

Probably not.

Still, Goten hadn't stopped crying and Gohan couldn't focus on his studies right now anyway. He might as well see if his mom could use some help. Or would be willing to accept. Sometimes, she was stubborn about handling things by herself and Gohan didn't want to fight her on it, no matter what Grandpa Ox King had made him promise. Gohan had witnessed his dad cave in to his mom so many times and now he understood why. Or at least, he knew a _little bit_ as to why.

Shaking it off, Gohan took a breath and reached up to knock on the door. The taps were even louder than the cries of the baby and his mother was quick to respond to them.

"Gohan, it's all right," Chi-Chi said over a tired sigh. "You can come in."

Despite his curiosity of wondering how his mother instantly knew it was him, Gohan quickly cleared his dry throat and opened the surprisingly unlocked door. "Mom..."

She was still in her nightgown, a thin form-fitting fabric tied at the waist, but even if she wasn't dressed for the day at least she was out of bed. Holding the crying Goten in her arms, she walked around the room on fuzzy blue slippers. Acting as if everything was normal, even if the baby refused to stop crying.

Dark and tired eyes glanced toward him as she put on a weak smile. "Did your studies get interrupted by all this noise?"

"Ah, yeah," Gohan said, licking his lips as he continued to hang in the door. "Mom -"

"Well, come here," Chi-Chi said. "Maybe you can help me calm him down."

A smile crossed his face as his eyes followed his mother. She _wanted_ help. That was a good thing, right? If he wanted to help her out, he should be allowed to without issues. And besides, he was still so curious about his new baby brother. He could read about babies and child growth all day long but there was nothing quite like watching it happen in real time. And this was his _brother_.

Loud, wailing little brother who wasn't being receptive to anything their mother tried, apparently. Gohan tried not to smile too brightly as he followed his mom's footsteps to the bed. A glance to the nearby dresser revealed a picture of his father with him and Mom, and Gohan had to quickly turn his gaze back to his mother as he climbed up onto the bed to sit on his knees next to her, leaning over to stare down at his little brother.

"He's hungry, I think," Chi-Chi sighed. "But I don't have enough milk in me to feed him. He's got your father's appetite and there's no way I can physically keep up with it."

"Oh, yeah," Gohan blinked. "That makes sense."

A half smile from his mother. "We're going to have to come up with a better solution than just letting him go hungry."

"Right," Gohan nodded. "I can read up on it. I know a lot of mothers sometimes have to resort to formula because they don't even produce breast milk at all for whatever reason. I guess you want me to figure out what kind would be best for Goten so we don't have to go to a doctor?"

His mother nodded, the smile lighting her dim gaze just a little. "You're very smart already, Gohan. I'm sure I can trust you to come up with the best solution for us."

"Yeah!" Gohan grinned at the compliment, feeling his elation only hampered by the fact that Goten had yet to stop screaming. "But what do we do now?"

His mother sighed, frowned, eyes going to his little brother. Her arms rocked the baby boy, but Goten refused to stop crying. It certainly did make sense to blame hunger, though he was trusting his mom on that instinct. Even if Gohan didn't have the same huge appetite as his father, Goten already shared so many traits – the hair being one – so it wasn't hard to draw such a conclusion when it came to him, at least.

"Well," his mother murmured. "Whenever you didn't want to quiet down, your father would do this trick with his _ki_. I'd say 'Goku, you can't just feed energy into any problem and expect it to work,' but...the funny thing is… it always did."

Gohan bit his lip, watching his vision blur in front of him. Thinking of his father was one thing. _Speaking_ of him was another. A harsh reminder that Gohan's dumb mistake had cost the family something dear, regardless of how much his father tried to soothe him. He knew his dad didn't blame him or think any less of him, not when his last words had involved mentioning how proud he was...but… when Gohan looked at his mother, it was hard to not feel a twinge of guilt. He knew he shouldn't, but, well, he couldn't control all of his feelings. He never could. No matter how hard he would work to do his best.

"So," he murmured over the rush of grief. "Dad used to… feed me _ki?_ "

A nod from his mother and then a nudge of her elbow. "Think you can try to do the same for Goten? The warmth might help calm him just like it used to do for you."

"Heh. Okay. I'll try."

Bizarre as it felt, Gohan set a hand on his little brother's head. Amid all the wild hair, he was reminded of the fragility of a newborn's skull and he tried to keep himself steady as he touched the small life in his mother's arms. He'd never thought to give _ki_ to someone to calm them down, but as he transferred some of his warmth, Goten's crying slowly settled until it stopped altogether. It was so close to a near instant reaction that Gohan had to resist the urge to add more, especially when his mother sighed in relief.

"It worked. I'm glad," Chi-Chi said. "Good job, Gohan. You're gonna be a great big brother."

Pulling his hand into his lap, Gohan stared at the bed and felt the heat rise on his face. He wanted to say it wasn't even his idea, that it wasn't even a big deal. He shouldn't be praised for doing something that his father must have thought of naturally. His father was amazing like that. Always thinking of solutions outside of the box and somehow being right, too.

Meanwhile, Gohan wasn't really coming up with solutions, just working off of what had been given to him. Trying his best and nothing more.

"I wish Dad were here."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt his mother tense. Eyes widening, he lifted his gaze, seeing Chi-Chi staring at the picture on the night stand. Gohan followed her gaze, and swallowed the words on the tip of his tongue. He couldn't apologize. He didn't even know what to say or why he had said that; he was supposed to be stronger than that, supposed to be here to keep his mother together. She had lost her husband. It was so much harder on her. And then with Goten…

A yawn from the baby and Gohan joined his mother in facing the new member of the family. A new member who looked so much like -

"Honestly, Gohan," his mother murmured, interrupting his thoughts. "I think...in a way...he kind of is."


	2. Fireflies

**Lights**

 **Chapter 2:** Fireflies

Dreams weren't always pleasant things, though he wasn't sure he'd want to call them nightmares every time they went sour, either. He liked getting to see his dad again, even if it was only a hazy discolored representation mix of memory and longing. Even if the playful moments in his dreams always warped into the fight against Cell. Without fail, if his dad showed up, then he'd have to sacrifice himself for Gohan all over again – all before Gohan was allowed to wake up from the depressing sequence.

Over a year since the battle for the Earth and Gohan was still struggling to accept that this was his life now, that his family had to live without his dad around anymore. He knew about the stages of grief on an intellectual level, but deciding where he stood in these stages was hard. It was hard to really know and understand his own self sometimes. But then, he was growing up, too, getting close to those infamous teenage years. The years of life that were all about learning to understand yourself. He wasn't sure he was looking forward to it.

"Gohan, sweetie," his mom called gently. "Wake up, Gohan."

With a groan, he did, sitting up slowly and rubbing at his wet eyes. A yawn and a stretch and he realized he had fallen asleep in the middle of his studies. His face felt funny and he reached up to rub at his cheek as if he was trying to remove pencil smear marks. Marks he was sure existed there now, if the glance down to his notebook to see the smears in his writing was any indication.

"Oh," he grumbled. "I didn't mean to fall asleep, Mom. I promise."

"It's okay, Gohan," his mom said with a smile. "It's getting late anyway. Goten and I just made some snacks and he wanted to share with you."

Gohan blinked as his mother set a pile of cookies and a glass of milk on his desk. Chocolate chip. Warm and soft by the looks of it. A simple, sweet homemade dessert. He hadn't expected cookies after dinner tonight. His mom was usually too busy putting Goten to bed to worry about something like this. Well, even if _he'd_ been up in his room during the kitchen activity, at last Goten got to have some fun. Gohan had fond memories of making cookies with his mother...and father.

He swallowed something in his throat and reached for one of the soft chocolate chip cookies, nibbling on the golden brown edge as soon as he could. "Did Goten have fun?"

"Yeah," Chi-Chi said, a hand on his shoulder as she sent a smile elsewhere into his room. "He really has a special interest in food. Especially sweets."

"Cookies!"

While Gohan chewed around the melted chocolate, his little brother popped up on the other side of the desk. Goten wasn't really walking yet, but he was fast at the crawling thing. And he was good at pulling himself up to stand next to whatever object he had attached to. Gohan's desk, in this case. Wide dark eyes that somehow appeared to shine brightly soon caught Gohan's gaze and he had to laugh at the little pout on his brother's face.

Handing over one of the cookies, Gohan grinned. "Didn't Mom already give you some? These are supposed to be mine, you know. I don't mind sharing, though. You really like cookies, huh?"

Face lighting up, Goten snatched the dessert and stuffed it into his mouth as fast as possible, all to the bright, cheery tone of, "Cookie!"

Gohan laughed and nodded. "Yeah, it's a cookie."

A small part of him wondered if it was all right to give Goten sweets or chocolate. The little guy was only a few months over one year at this point, which meant he should have been walking better, too, right? But his mother didn't seem concerned at all. Gohan didn't see the same obsessive attention to detail that he'd experienced from her at a younger age, and he didn't really see the excessive coddling that he'd received from _both_ of his parents, either.

Of course, he wasn't sure if this difference was because of the situation, or because Chi-Chi really wasn't as worried. He'd read stories of how parents were super strict with their first child and always fretting about something but then they'd lighten up by the time another was born. Mellow out, in a way. So...maybe his mother just wasn't so worried about being perfect at child raising.

She certainly wasn't _neglecting_ Goten, so there was no reason to worry about any kind of detrimental possibility. Still, it had to be hard. A lot of times Gohan would look at his little brother and remember his father. The hair, the shine in his eyes, the happy laughter, so many other little things. He didn't want to project Goku onto Goten, but with all those similarities…. Well, he had to wonder how his mother looked at Goten. Did she see Goku or did she see her second son only? Or… was it more complicated than that?

"Mom -"

"Gohan."

He blinked, suddenly at a loss for what to say now that he had her attention. "Uhm..."

Her eyes smiled at him, a hand rubbing his back. "Is there any reason you're wearing this?"

With another blink, Gohan looked down at his chosen outfit and blushed. Oh, right. He'd taken to wearing a purple _gi_ that Piccolo had given him to match the one he'd had at the Cell Games. He didn't usually wear it around the house. Just at night sometimes. And only sometimes.

"Uhm," he scratched at his cheek. "Mr. Piccolo gave it to me."

Chi-Chi sighed and crossed her arms. "I figured that much. I'm more interested in _why_ you're wearing it, especially when you know you should be focusing on studying. The world is at peace now. You can actually be a scholar and not have to worry about -"

"It's not that, though," Gohan murmured. "I'm not training or anything, Mom. I promise. But I can't sit still in a desk all day anymore. I have to get up and exercise at least. It feels...weird…if I don't. And I swear I only do it at night so I'm not really cutting into study time or -"

A hand on his shoulder interrupted him and he looked up to see soft eyes still smiling. "It's all right, Gohan. I'm not mad. You do what you feel you need to do. You're old enough and smart enough to understand what's best for you. Just don't lose focus, okay? I can't afford to send you to a good school so you have to get there with high scores on your own. You deserve a good education after everything you've been through."

"Yeah," Gohan breathed. "I know."

And he meant it. He understood his mother's worries. He _finally_ understand _why_ she had pushed him so hard – and why his dad stood aside on the issue except for a few times in his life. The fate of the planet had been important, but now there was peace so he should take the opportunity to catch up and get ahead.

The rest of the world didn't care about the boy who had beaten Cell. Heck, he was pretty sure they didn't know _he_ was the one to do it. Which was good. He couldn't imagine dealing with that kind of fame while having to work through these family issues, too. Not that things were difficult, just...well...the quiet country life was nice.

For him _and_ his mother.

"Daddy!"

Hearing the exclamation from his baby brother, Gohan quickly turned his head in the direction it had come from. He had a feeling his mother's reaction had been similar, but he tried to focus on Goten right now.

Goten, the spitting image of their father, was standing at the open window. Reaching out into the night sky and laughing, grabbing at something invisible. Some crazy baby babbling nonsense. That was all. What else could it be?

Still, Gohan's heart rate picked up as he climbed out of his chair and walked over to the window to stare out at the darkness. White curtains blew in the breeze and a couple of lights blinked on and off in the otherwise empty outside air. Not the lights of stars in the sky, though, but the golden little pin pricks of fireflies.

 _Oh_ , Gohan breathed as he saw Goten reach for the nearest lightning bug. _It's the first time he's seen them. He doesn't know what to call them. That's all._

Goten's default answer for words he didn't know had been _Daddy_ , ever since he'd learned the word, so it really was no surprise. Gohan shouldn't have gotten so worked up. His dad was dead, and he was going to stay dead. Still, it was kind of funny how Goten refused to let him be forgotten. One day, Gohan might have to thank his little brother for being such an unexplainable little child. It certainly did manage to bright things up in the strangest of ways.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Goten continued, still snatching at the bugs. "Want."

Shaking his head, Gohan laughed. In one swift movement, he caught one of the glowing bugs in his hand. Trapping it without accidentally crushing it. He turned to his little brother and crouched down to get the boy's attention before taking one of the little hands in his own.

"Here, Goten," he said as he transferred the bug to his brother's open palm. "It's not Daddy. It's a firefly. Can you say that? Firefly."

Big eyes stared at the little glowing bug now crawling along his hand and Goten gasped, then grinned after a glance up to Gohan. "Firefry."

Gohan laughed and nodded. "Close enough."

"Firefry!" Goten repeated, his hand reaching up to put the bug in his mouth as soon as Gohan pulled away. "Firefry yum."

"No no no no," Chi-Chi called, rushing over to pull Goten's hand away from his mouth. "Not yummy, Goten. We don't eat fireflies."

Goten's face dropped, both confused and upset. "No?"

Gohan had to bite back his laughter. "Listen to Mom, Goten. She's right. You don't want to eat bugs."

"No?"

"Mmhmm," Chi-Chi hummed as she picked Goten up in her arms. "No bugs. Like your father, I swear, wanting to eat everything."

"No!"

Gohan tried not to laugh again, but the sheer excitement in Goten's exclamation made it impossible to hold back completely. His mother sent him in a side-eyed glance and he shrugged, feeling his face heat for his outburst. Apparently, one of Goten's _other_ favorite words wasn't quite as fun to deal with.

"Gohan, go ahead and get ready for bed," his mom sighed. "I'm going to give Goten his bath now and then _try_ to lay him down for the night, so..."

"No bath," Goten interjected. "No!"

Ignoring his brother, Gohan nodded. "Yeah, okay, I'll see if I can finish what I was doing before I fell asleep earlier. But if you need help -"

"I'm fine, sweetie," his mother said, adjusting Goten's position and making her exit. "You focus on yourself and that's all the help I need."

"Heh," Gohan scratched at his cheek. "All right..."

Listening to the chorus of _no's_ from Goten made him shake his head and chuckle again. Little kids were funny. He wasn't sure if he'd been like this as a child, too, but Goten had certainly perked up in activity once he could move around and talk. A glance out the window and Gohan watched the glow of the fireflies blink on and off and on again throughout the night sky. He set a hand on the window sill and leaned against it for a moment, taking in the warm air and the peaceful silence, looking from the fireflies to the stars blinking above, wondering if his dad could see them from the after life.

Wondering if Goku even knew about the second son he had here on Earth who had grown to like the word _'Daddy'_ without even knowing him.


	3. Cake

**Lights**

 **A/N:** Me and my silly headcanons... Thanks for all the reviews! Hope you all continue to enjoy.

 **Chapter 3:** Cake

Spring was a great time of the year to spend outside, a great time to take a break from studying, a great time to entertain his little brother. Hands and knees in the grass, Gohan crawled around on all fours while Goten laughed. He leaned his head to the side to grin at the child on his back, the little feet and legs kicking against him as if riding a horse and trying to push him to keep moving.

Goten was dressed in an outfit familiar to Gohan, the traditional green and yellow garb that he'd worn at the younger ages. No hat, of course, and no dragonball. Huh. Wouldn't it be cool if they could find the four-star-dragonball? Considering how Dad had treated it as the special one among all seven. After all, it'd been on Gohan's hat so many years ago, like some special family heirloom. And now who even knew where it could be.

"Go, go, Gohan," his brother laughed, hand slapping at Gohan's head. "Go! Faster! Go!"

Gohan offered a small laugh. "All right, Goten. You want faster?"

"Yes!" Goten squealed, pumping his whole fist into the air. "Go faster, Gohan!"

With a chuckle, Gohan turned his attention back to the ground. He brushed at the dew-dropped green grass, realizing it probably needed a mowing soon. Mom didn't expect him to do the job, but Gohan had watched the country neighbors do it enough now to think he could handle it on his own if he wanted. Or he could always do it Dad's way by using his energy in a specific, careful way, turning work into training.

Regardless, Gohan wanted to help out wherever he could and small breaks from his studies were necessary anyway. Right now his breaks basically left him babysitting his baby brother, but he still wanted to do _more_. His mother, on the other hand, didn't see any reason to ask him to help beyond quick things here and there – and of course when it came to watching Goten. She wanted him to focus on himself, on his studies. At first, Gohan had been worried for her, wondering if she was going to push herself too hard, but after so long of handling everything with a smile, she sure seemed fine.

"Go, go, Gohan!"

At the demand from Goten, he shook his head and laughed, setting his hands and legs to allow a faster crawl through the grass. As if he were going to race around the house. "All right, Goten. You ready? Hang on tight now!"

A loud affirmative echoed in the air. Tiny hands gripped onto Gohan's shirt. Small legs clenched around his torso as if hanging on for dear life. Gohan could practically feel the rush of excitement and anticipation, especially in the bounce his brother gave as he jiggled against Gohan's back. Little kids were something else.

With one last nod to himself, Gohan took a breath and then focused his _ki_. He narrowed his eyes, seeing the grass through a more intensive view, not quite like Super Saiyan, but still a bigger attention to detail, as could be noticed when he lifted his head to gaze at the nature beyond their little yard. He wasn't using his _ki_ to bring it forth or use it in any conventional manner. More or less just to center himself so he could keep his movements controlled and balanced even if he sped up his crawl significantly.

Knowing that Goten was hanging on tight like he'd asked, Gohan finally gave his little brother the ride he'd been begging for. Trust the kid who looked like their father to enjoy something that gave a rush and a feeling of risk. As Gohan's hands and knees crawled around, as he picked up the pace and shifted to his feet instead, as he practically bounded around the yard like a dog, Goten squealed and laughed the entire time to express his enjoyment. Tiny hands gripped even tighter but the pure joy in the kid's laughter pushed Gohan along into the act of reckless behavior.

At least until his mom's voice carried on the wind and brought him back down to earth. "Gohan! What are you doing?"

The sound of the voice froze him in place and Gohan felt the heat on his face as he looked toward his mother. "Oh, Mom..."

"Don't you 'oh mom' me," Chi-Chi sighed. "You're going to make him sick. His stomach's still sensitive from the other day."

 _Oh right, I forgot._

Giving a bit of a sheepish smile, Gohan faced his mother head on and shrugged. Her hands were at her hips, eyes narrowed, lips frowning, but he didn't think she was honestly annoyed or mad this time. Just a little exasperated maybe? Either way, Gohan was still on his hands and knees and still blushing at the disappointed look from his mother. Goten, on the other hand, was still laughing lightly behind him, still squealing in childish delight at the short rush of daring fun. Well, daring fun for a toddler who was technically still recovering from a small stomach virus.

"Sorry, Mom," Gohan mumbled. "I forgot Goten was sick."

Chi-Chi walked over to pluck Goten from his back. "I expected a better memory from you, Gohan. This seems more like something your father would have done."

"Heh," he grunted at the mention of his father as he got to his feet and brushed the grass and dirt from his pants. "I guess. I just like hearing Goten laugh, really."

"Yeah," Chi-Chi murmured, looking to her youngest son who was now smiling in content pleasure in her arms. "Me too."

He supposed that made sense. One of the reasons Gohan liked his brother's laugh so much was because it reminded him of Dad. Of course his mom would pick up on that, too. There was the other reason, though. The simple fact that children's laughter could heal many wounds.

The past few years without his father had been a little empty, but having Goten around certainly helped fill that ache. Filled that hole in a way. Because of all the little things Goten would do that helped to remind Gohan of his father. Like his mom had said when Goten was still a baby – it felt like Goku was here. In some small way. Some little miracle of life to bless their household.

"Gohan," his mom said. "Do you want some cake?"

Blinking out of his thoughts, Gohan tilted his head to the side. "Cake?"

Chi-Chi nodded. "Yeah, I ended up making one because… well…"

"Cake! Cake! Cake!" Goten interrupted, waving his arms around in circles. "I want cake! I want!"

"No, Goten," Chi-Chi said. "You're still sick. No sweets."

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Gohan swallowed his own comment at hearing his mother's answer. Goten wasn't going to like that response. His brother was now at the age when tantrums were a major player and Goten wasn't exactly the shy good kid. When he wanted something, he _really_ wanted something.

The crying first. Loud wailing. Tears streaming down his cheeks. Goten was still in their mother's arms so the arm flinging and kicking wasn't quite as likely. At least not right away. Chi-Chi ignored the cries and made her way inside the house, Gohan right behind her. He watched his mother put Goten in his play pen, setting him down and then sighing as the boy instantly flopped on his back and carried on with a full blown tantrum.

All over a cake.

"Mom?" Gohan asked as he sat at the kitchen table and followed his mom with his eyes. "Are you sure you can't give him anything?"

Plates were set out for two slices of cake. His mom cut into the lemon cake she'd made and then brought him a single slice with a smile. She sat across from him at the table, all while ignoring Goten's tantrum.

"He doesn't get anything," she said. "Because I already told him no. If we give in now, he'll cry and whine and throw fits like this to get what he wants for _years_ to come. We put up with it now and he'll learn it doesn't work."

"Oh, right," Gohan mumbled, trying to ignore the wailing of his disappointed brother. "But he sounds so sad."

Eyes narrowed at him immediately. "No, Gohan. Your father spoiled you enough when you were younger. I don't need you spoiling Goten in his place."

Gohan winced. The words hovered in the air, cutting deep. In his place, huh? He wasn't some replacement for Dad, though. Just 'cause Goten didn't get to grow up with Dad… it didn't mean Gohan was going to fill any shoes. He only wanted to be a good big brother. And a good son. Which meant he was caught between the two roles right now. The good son would obey his mother. The good big brother would sneak a bite of cake or two to his little brother. Right? That's what it felt like at least, an internal war.

Groaning, Gohan tried to push back the urge to hand his cake over. Instead, he took a bite and thought about the taste. A lemon dessert, reminding him of one of his father's favorite sweet dishes. It wasn't exactly the same, but his dad had always preferred things that were lemon flavored. Which made him wonder why his mother had made a lemon cake of all things. It wasn't exactly Gohan's favorite, or hers, and Goten wasn't going to be able to have any, so why had she made it?

Lifting his eyes, Gohan noticed his mother looking away. Almost wistfully staring at the cake on the counter. What was she thinking about? Was it Dad? Was today something special between them or had she just been wanting to cook through her feelings again? He knew she did that. Shortly after Goku's death, Chi-Chi had been in the kitchen almost non stop. Gohan had been glad to have Grandpa Ox King around then to help him eat all the food his mother had made. But now something else had come up…

Should he ask? Or was it better to leave her alone? If cooking was a coping mechanism, then she should be fine, right? That meant she was coping in her own way. Only now they had a lemon cake sitting there for no other reason than his mother had felt like making one.

"I...want….cake!" Oh, and Goten's tantrum wasn't dying down anytime soon, either. "Give me cake! I want it!"

With a sigh, Gohan turned around in his seat to face his little brother. The child's play pen was set up in the kitchen. Because that's where Chi-Chi liked to spend most of her time, even if she wasn't cooking. And she had to keep an eye on Goten because he would sneak out of the house, even worse than what Gohan used to do apparently. And Gohan was too busy studying to have to worry about chasing down a lost kid.

Now Goten had sat up, hands resting on the floor in between his legs as he continued to wail and as tears continued to fall. It looked so fake now that he watched it happen. Like a child who knew enough crying would garner sympathy. Well, it had worked when he was a baby, but now was the time to break him of those habits. Mom was right. Giving into Goten now wouldn't help anything.

Gohan let out a breath and pushed his chair back. Standing away from the table, he left his cake slice half eaten and walked over to where his little brother was still throwing his tantrum. His very obviously fake tantrum. He sighed. Kids. Maybe he could compromise between 'good son' and 'good big brother' after all.

Reaching out, Gohan set a hand on his brother's head, surprised to see the boy pause in his cries to look up at him. "Sorry, Goten. Maybe next time. Or tomorrow, even. I doubt we'll eat it all right now so just be patient, okay? You probably shouldn't cry like that anymore. You might make yourself more sick and then it'll be even _longer_ before you can have some cake. All right? You understand?"

To his even greater surprise, Goten looked up at his smile and then nodded, wiping at the wet tears at the edges of his eyes. "Okay, Gohan."

"G-good."

A wide smile was returned and then Goten reached around his little pen to grab a wooden toy train, holding it up with hopeful eyes still shining with tears. "Gohan play?"

He laughed and shrugged. "You know what? Sure. But just for a little while. I need to get back to studying soon. Got to keep Mom happy, you know."

"Happy!" Goten repeated, waving the toy around in the air. "Keep happy!"

Crouching down, Gohan gave a small smile in return as he whispered. "Yeah. Keep happy."


	4. Books

**Lights**

 **Chapter 4:** Books

Sweat beaded on his forehead, dripping from the fringes of his hair. The push ups caused a burning ache to flow through his limbs, his arms screaming the most. Not because he was working out at all, but because he was about to reach his limit on exercise for the day. He wanted to push on, to at least touch the bar his father had set, but everything seemed far out of reach these days.

So many years since Cell. So many years since his father's sacrifice and decision to stay dead. Gohan occasionally thought about that choice, but he didn't dwell on it. For whatever reason, his father believed his presence brought trouble to the Earth and even if the logic itself didn't add up perfectly, Gohan couldn't exactly call him out. Not when they'd enjoyed four years of peace.

A peace that allowed Gohan to finally be what he wanted to be, to grow up as a normal child. Sure, he had past experiences that no normal Earthling had, but now that he was breaking into the teenage years, poking into puberty, he was glad he didn't have to run around the world training and stopping monsters or aliens or killer androids. The world was at peace. He was free to do what he wanted, even if that meant neglecting any form of martial arts training for the sake of scholarly pursuits.

The most he did was exercise to keep himself in shape. Piccolo had questioned him once when he went to visit his Namekian mentor. Once. When Gohan explained how this was what he _wanted_ to do, Piccolo let him be on the matter. Much easier to deal with than any talk from Vegeta, that was for sure.

Either way, this was the path he had chosen and he was grateful to his dad for making it possible, even if it meant a sacrifice for the whole family.

An abrupt knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, followed by a blur of motion as the door opened immediately after and a hyper little boy ran into the room. Gohan blinked and groaned as his brother showed up in his vision, crouching down to meet Gohan's eyes as he wobbled in his push-ups.

"Hey, Gohan," Goten said. "Mom says it's bedtime."

A puff of a short breath escaped Gohan's lips. "She did, huh?"

Goten nodded. "Mmhmm. Time for bed."

When nothing else was said, Gohan forced a tight smile. "Well then, you should get ready for bed, shouldn't you?"

"You too," Goten said, a finger lifting up into the air and resting on his lips. "Mom said bedtime."

"Goten, I'm a little busy right now."

A flash of disappointment crossed Goten's eyes and Gohan did his best to ignore it. He only had a few more push-ups to go. He'd set a goal earlier and he wanted to reach it. The distraction from his brother was causing him to suffer a little, having to pause in his count and hold himself up like that, but now he could focus on his exercise. As long as Goten was quiet he could finish this without problems.

Movement from the corner of his eye indicated that Goten was at least no longer crouched in front of him. Whatever. Goten could go entertain himself for now. Or go to bed like their mom had apparently told him. He'd make it up to the little guy later. Being an older brother had a lot of perks. For the most part, it was fun and a joy. But it could also be an annoying pain in the rear.

A loud crash followed by Goten's whine came right on cue. Gohan jumped up from his push-ups, putting the exercise on hold immediately at the sound of his brother in pain. Quickly scanning his room revealed results that made him groan and cover his face.

"Goten, really?"

His little brother had apparently walked over to the large bookcase against the wall and somehow managed to pull it down. Thankfully, Goten seemed to have jumped away from the fallen case itself before he could be buried, but that didn't stop a pile of books from slamming on him. And now the kid was rubbing his head with tears only moments away.

"I didn't mean to," Goten whined. "I just wanted to find a book to read."

With a sigh, Gohan made his way over to the fallen bookshelf, leaning down to pick it back up and then kneeling down to start filing the books back where they belonged. "You could have asked me instead of knocking everything down."

"But you were busy," Goten mumbled, crawling closer to help Gohan clean up the mess. "I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me?" Gohan frowned. "What makes you think you'd bother me?"

"Because… I..."

A hiccup interrupted his little brother and Gohan stopped his work to turn his full attention to the little guy. Goten had tears breaking out of his eyes now, slipping silently down his cheeks. Hiccups in an effort to not make it obvious because he couldn't take a full breath without risking full out sobs. Gohan knew what it felt like to hold back tears. And it stabbed him in the heart to somehow be responsible for causing his own brother such distress. Some big brother he was turning out to be.

"H-hey, Goten, don't cry," he stuttered, reaching out to pick up his brother and hug him close, kneeling on the floor and all. "I'm sorry. Did I snap at you? I didn't mean to come across like that, okay? I really just wanted to finish what I had started first."

Another hiccup, tears soaking his shoulder where Goten had buried his face. "I – I just wanted...big brother Gohan t-to read me a story."

"Oh," Gohan blinked and lifted his lips in a soft smile. "Oh, that's fine. We can do that. In fact, I can read you a story right now."

"R-really?"

Gohan nodded. "Yeah, really. Did you have one in mind? Is that the book you were trying to grab on your own?"

Pulling away from the hug, Goten sniffed, wiped his eyes, and crawled around on the floor looking for the book in question. "Uh huh. But I lost it."

Gohan watched his brother for a few moments. Watched the little guy crawling among the pile of books on the floor. Thankfully it was only books and there hadn't been anything breakable. Their mom did like to decorate shelves and such from time to time, so there was no telling when something besides books would be hiding on a bookshelf.

Little fingers grabbed and tossed the books one at a time. Goten would pick one up, study it closely, and then toss it into the pile again. Eventually, this led to him searching through the same group of books without even realizing it.

Gohan chuckled. "Hey, bro, how about we keep putting the books where they belong? It'll be easier to search for what you want when they're all nice and neat."

A pair of bright eyes turned to him, lighting up even more as Goten nodded. "Yeah! I can help clean!"

With a little laugh to himself, Gohan nodded and then focused on setting the books back in the shelf. Goten helped as much as he could, though Gohan did have to go behind his little brother and make sure everything was setting up nicely. Goten had a tendency to leave books crooked on the shelf or to just put them up without any care to setting them up next to other books.

Eventually, though, they managed to get through everything. Though the top shelves required Gohan standing up and Goten handing him books from the floor. He'd have to go back through the shelf and actually organize everything again, but for now things would work. He resisted the urge to mumble and complain about how his system for book organization was ruined. Goten was acting sensitive right now. He didn't want to hurt the little guy's feelings anymore than he already had.

Once everything was set, Gohan clapped his hands together and grinned down at his little brother. "All right, Goten. Which book did you want to read?"

"Uhm..." Goten drifted, eyes searching the shelf. "I don't see it..."

"Really? Even after -"

"Oh! There it is!" Goten hummed. "Why is it in a different spot?"

Feeling his eyebrow twitch, Gohan instead let his breath out in a rush and grabbed the book his brother had pointed at. "Because it felt like it."

"You mean it moved by itself?" Goten gasped. "I didn't know books could move on their own. Do they like trying to trick me?"

Setting a hand on the side of his head, Gohan rubbed at his hair. "Heh. Uhm. Probably? You're kinda fun to mess with."

"Nuh uh," Goten whined. "I am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"AM NOT!"

"Hah, okay, sorry, sorry," Gohan said, holding his hands up, biting back his laugh. Because it _was_ too much fun messing with his younger brother. "Forget it. You want me to read this to you, right?"

Instantly forgetting the previous argument, Goten nodded, eyes shining with his excitement. "Yeah! Yeah! Please, Gohan?"

"Heh. You don't have to say please _now_ , you know," Gohan mumbled. "I already said I was going to read you a bedtime story."

Eyes still shining, Goten nodded. Multiple times. He wasn't even dressed for bed yet. Well, they could do that after the story. Or, no, wait, that wasn't a good idea. What if Goten fell asleep? It'd be a pain to wake him up and get him to change and then hope he was tired enough to fall right back to sleep. Gohan knew how much Goten didn't like to stay asleep. He didn't want to risk such a situation with the hyper child…

"Uhm, Goten," he said. "Before we read, though, could you do one thing for me?"

"Huh?" Goten blinked, the shine dwindling. "What?"

"Get dressed for bed first."

"Aw, but Gohan, I wanna read -"

"Nope. Not until you're actually ready for bed."

The whine was immediate. Like the toddler he was, Goten stomped his foot and showed his obvious displeasure with this turn of events. Gohan crossed his arms and refused to budge. He was already taller and bigger than Goten, but his recent developments in puberty meant he was even bigger than before. In fact, he was also already at his mother's height, so he must have been pretty intimidating to his much younger brother. Maybe that was why Goten looked away, even though his whining continued to drag on.

Another presence appeared in the doorway, probably brought there by the poor behavior of her younger son. "Goten! I told you to get ready for bed!"

"I want a story!" Sitting down, crossing his arms and legs, Goten pouted in the face of discipline. "I don't want bed."

In an instant, Chi-Chi's mother status jumped to the forefront of her personality. Gohan instinctively took a step back when he sensed the aura. Goten didn't seem to notice or care. Poor kid would learn eventually, he supposed.

Their mom stomped across the room and grabbed Goten from the floor without a second thought. It was so easy to forget how strong his mom was, but the ease with which she picked Goten up and ignored all the struggles of the typical tantrum… Gohan gulped and kept his distance, lifting the book to distract himself from his mother's incoming discipline, even if it wasn't directed at him.

The movement must have grabbed her attention, because she held Goten, dropped her angry aura, and had a sweet tone in her voice when she spoke. "Were you still okay reading to him once he's ready for bed?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Gohan laughed awkwardly. "Dad used to read to me, didn't he?"

Chi-Chi's eyes widened, then softened with a light smile. "Once or twice, maybe. I think you read to him more often than anything."

Gohan chuckled and scratched at his cheek. "Hah, yeah, I do remember that much."

"It's the thought that counts," she said, shifting her hold on Goten. "Thank you."

He took a moment to try to decipher what the gratitude was for. He certainly hadn't done much to help with Goten, just saying he would keep his word, really. But then, maybe his mom was thankful for the memory Gohan had brought up. Because Gohan knew _he_ was. It was harder to think of those now, harder to pull up the older memories of the family when they were all together and happy. Yet those memories were always precious, too precious to keep to yourself. Even if it brought a little pain along the way.

"Yeah," Gohan murmured. "No problem, Mom."


	5. Lost

**Lights**

 **Chapter 5:** Lost

Gohan flew over the forest, eyes narrowed as he scanned the area as best he could. Wind rushed through his wild black hair, his bangs brushing harshly across his forehead. He'd need a haircut soon. A part of him wished he could have his father's hair, like Goten, and not have to worry about such things but _oh well_. As long as his hair didn't get in the way, he didn't mind, but it's length sure was starting to bug him now. His bangs kept scratching his eyes, making it hard to focus on his search.

Right. His search. Goten was out in that forest somewhere. Goten and Trunks both. Or at least he assumed as much. Trunks had been dropped off for the day as he so often was, and the son of Vegeta had quickly joined Goten in a handful of childish games. Gohan had been studying, of course, not even bothering to eavesdrop on the children.

At least until his mother called him down with worried eyes and a shaking voice. The boys were missing, she said. They must have sneaked out of the house at the first opportunity. With how much attention his mother could unintentionally put into her cooking, Gohan wasn't surprised. Add that on top of Trunks being a mischievous little rascal… well… there was no telling where those two had disappeared off to.

Especially considering he couldn't locate them by their _ki_ at all. It was too low to focus on. Both of them. Gohan sighed and glanced around the forest tree tops with a groan. Kids…

He wanted to blame Trunks for the trouble. It was so easy to blame Trunks. After all, the kid wasn't exactly raised the same. Bulma may have practically been a single mother, too, but… well… Gohan really had no idea what Vegeta did with the kid, if he did anything. Vegeta never had seemed the type to show an interest in his child or a wife. Were those two even married? He had _no_ idea. Just like he'd been surprised when Trunks had been born at all, rudely awakened to the fact that a couple didn't have to be married to have a kid. Born under such circumstances, there was really no telling what sort of life Trunks had at home. How similar it was to Goten's, or how different.

Regardless of whose fault it was or whose idea it was, or whose influence could be blamed, Goten and Trunks had both left the confines of the house and disappeared. Thankfully, it was very unlikely that they'd been kidnapped. Imagining such a scenario only made Gohan feel sorry for any would-be kidnappers. Even for a four-year-old and an almost six-year-old, those two could cause some major damage if they wanted.

Which made him hopeful that nothing could exist in the forest to be worth worrying over. Goten and Trunks were probably both perfectly capable of handling themselves. _But_ they could just as easily be lost, too.

Gohan groaned, stopping in his flight to take a moment to focus. He was roaming aimlessly at this point. He needed some clue, something to point him in the direction of his brother. Too bad he couldn't pick up their _ki_ at all. He felt like his dad would have been able to, but here _he_ was hovering in the sky about to resort to calling for the kids because he was out of any other options.

He took a deep breath...and almost choked on it.

A large power suddenly slammed into existence. A _ki_ brighter than anything he'd seen in a while flashed high and warm. His head turned to the point where he could feel that glow, eyes widening then narrowing slowly as he frowned. Whatever it was, the power alone felt similar in strength to a Super Saiyan. If Goten and Trunks were anywhere close to such a power, they could be in a lot more trouble than he'd originally thought.

Letting his own _ki_ gather around his body, Gohan pushed it to his feet, leaned over and rushed his way through the sky to head to that point of power as fast as he could. His heart hammered in his chest. His teeth grinding against each other, his jaw clenched tight in fear and worry. What could it be? What was invading the forest? This kind of… why did it almost feel like two different sparks of _ki_ energy colliding together?

Gohan shook his head. Now wasn't the time to wonder. All that mattered was finding the owner of the _ki_ and making sure Goten and Trunks weren't involved. He had the sinking suspicion that his brother and Trunks were both very much so involved, though. Geh. Why did those kids have to sneak out of the house? Couldn't they realize the outside world was dangerous? After all, when Gohan was Goten's age, he'd almost lost his life in this very same forest. A wild ride of an adventure being lost and looking for his dad and somehow surviving a fall from a waterfall in time for his dad to find him and rescue him.

Heh. Well, he couldn't really yell at his brother if he'd been the same wandering spirit at that age. But still… Dad wasn't here to rescue Goten. All he had was Gohan, and although Gohan tried his best, it just wasn't the same. He was a big brother, not a father.

The sense of bright energy faded away on the wind when Gohan was mere moments from catching it, too. He groaned and stopped his flight, hovering in the air to scan the treetops yet again. Maybe this time he'd be close enough to notice something. All he needed was to see something out of the ordinary. A flash of color. An abrupt noise. Anything. Kinda like -

His thoughts came to a sudden stop when his eyes finally caught something beyond the trees. Well, it was more of the fact that a small section of the forest trees seemed to be torn down. That and the sound of a dinosaur roar and then children screaming.

Narrowing his eyes, Gohan moved immediately. Heart skipping in his chest, he tore through the brush and landed on the ground in front of a T-rex. He could sense the boys behind him – _finally_ – though all he saw was a pile of rubble, mostly fallen trees. They must be buried underneath all that. Great.

The dinosaur roared again and Gohan wasted no time lifting up and kicking the animal. He winced slightly at the way it flew back through the air at the slightest touch. Too hard. He'd hit it too hard. He hoped he hadn't accidentally killed it… his dad would have done better, he was sure.

"Goten," Trunks' voice said behind him. "Your brother's here."

Followed quickly by an excited, "Gohan!"

Right. He'd stepped in to save the boys. That's why he'd used too much strength against the dinosaur. Because he'd been worked up. Well, good excuse or not, he still should have controlled his power better. Guess he hadn't learned must of anything in his fight with Cell after all.

With a sigh, Gohan rubbed the back of his head and turned around to walk his way over to the mess of fallen trees and broken rocks. These kids… Apparently, they'd fallen into a hole in the ground and been trapped by the fallen trees. Gohan tried not to smile at the absurdity of it all even as he crouched down in front of the eyes that were peeking from the darkness.

"What did you two do?" He asked, "Why are you way out here?"

"Dino-hunting!" Goten chirped. "Trunks' idea. We made a good trap."

Gohan let a small smile sneak on his face as he nodded. "Yeah, I can see that. So good you caught yourselves, huh?"

"Whatever," Trunks grumbled. "Can you get us out, Gohan? We used up too much energy doing...something else."

Gohan hummed, wanting to know what this _something else_ was, but deciding it might be best to let the kids have their secrets. Besides, he needed to check to make sure they were all right. Just because they were talking normally didn't necessarily mean they were free from injury.

So, taking a breath, Gohan grabbed the fallen trees, stood up, and tossed everything to the side one by one like it was no big deal. "There. You guys can climb out on your own now, right?"

Two little heads bobbed up and down, followed by the two kids grabbing hold of the edge of the hole and pulling themselves up. Gohan couldn't help but smile. He'd learned how to fly around their age. It was a little funny to see neither one had learned how yet. But it was just a testament to the peaceful times, he supposed. They didn't _need_ to fly, because they weren't needed to fly in an all-important save-the-world battle. Hopefully, they never would be needed for such a thing. Hopefully, this peace could stay indefinitely.

Still. That didn't mean they should be excused for their reckless behavior. Narrowing his eyes, hands on his waist, Gohan put on his best big-brother-in-charge glare that he could manage. Both kids noticed the change and snapped into an almost attention. Heh. Maybe he was taking too many points from Piccolo.

"You know, you guys should know better," he said, trying to keep his voice as stern as possible. "What do you think would happen if I had to come home and tell Mom you were dead, Goten? Or how do you think your parents would feel if you never showed up again, Trunks?"

Trunks glanced off to the side and mumbled something under his breath, but Gohan was a little more focused on his brother. Goten's gaze shook and then found the ground. The hair drooping slightly as his shoulders slumped.

"Sorry, Gohan," Goten mumbled. "We didn't mean to -"

"That's the thing, Goten," he said, kneeling down and setting his hands on his brother's shoulders. "No one ever means for bad things to happen. That's why we have to take precautions like this to be safe. Rules exist for a reason."

Though Trunks scoffed, Goten nodded and mumbled. "Always listen to Mom, right?"

"Yeah," Gohan nodded back. "Always listen to Mom."

"Did you listen to Dad, too, Gohan?"

Feeling his breath catch in his throat, Gohan squeezed his brother's shoulders, meeting the curious eyes as Goten lifted his face. "Y-yeah. Mostly. Well. I – uh -"

 _I should have listened to Dad in that fight. Should have killed Cell when I had the chance. Shouldn't have toyed with him. Shouldn't have felt like I was right to want him to suffer longer. Why didn't I just listen to Dad?_

"Gohan?"

Even if his dad had stayed dead because it felt it best to keep everyone safe anyway, the option wouldn't have even been there if Gohan had just done as he was told. If he had just listened. How many times had he replayed that fight? How many times had he wondered what he could have done differently? How many times…

His arms moved, wrapping around his little brother who had never met their dad. Holding tight, clinging to the little image of his father, he whispered. "I'm sorry, Goten. I'm so, _so_ sorry."


	6. Memory

**Lights**

 **Chapter 6:** Memory

Science was always an interesting subject to study. His books didn't quite accept or line up with the reality he had experienced. Travel through space didn't _have_ to take that long. Other planets with life most certainly _did_ exist. People _could_ fly and harness the energy flowing inside them. There was even a way for someone to teleport. His father was proof, even if Gohan had never gotten an explanation about _how_ that Instant Transmission ability worked.

Regardless, when Gohan studied science he had to step lightly. The truths he knew may not break any rules, but the limit of general human understanding was clearly evident. He was planning to go to an actual high school and study with his peers. He'd have to be careful to appear as normal as possible. Smart, of course, but normal. So, no talk of things that _normal_ wouldn't understand, which was kind of a hard line to find when he'd rarely, if ever, interacted with people outside of his family or his dad's friends.

He shook his head and sighed, closing the book in his hand. If he wasn't going to read or study, he might as well walk and enjoy the view. He had decided to take a trip into the nearby city without taking Nimbus – and without flying – so as to avoid notice. When his dad was around, Gohan was more apt to taking risks like that, but as he grew up he realized neither flying nor the magic cloud were _normal_. So, he did errands for his mom, stopped by the library for a new batch of books, and took the big trek back to the house in the mountains.

It was actually sort of refreshing to be able to act like a normal boy his age. Or, teenager now, he supposed would be the correct term. He still couldn't believe time had gone by so fast, though his mother swore she felt it going faster than he did. With all that time they'd both wanted to spend in the past, it was a wonder they'd moved on at all.

Yet, here he was, feeling fine. The ache of his father's death had finally run its course. Had he really stayed in the stages of grief for that long? Or was it still that any inkling of a reminder hurt? He'd at least stopped blaming himself. His father had been proud of what he had accomplished. He hadn't seemed upset at all about having to stay dead, just treating it like another journey. Heh. He would…

So he supposed the only thing sad was how Goten would never get to meet his father. The boy was growing up without one. Krillin and Yamcha came by every so often to say hi and help his mother with stuff, but Krillin was busy with his own kid now. And Yamcha kind of did his own thing anyway. Most of the group did. Everyone went their separate ways unless it was necessary or they were having a reunion of some sort. A reunion normally organized by Bulma.

Oh, Bulma had formed a better relationship with Chi-Chi over the years. Gohan had seen a lot more of her lately, especially, thanks to how Goten and Trunks were practically best friends joined at the hip. Those two…

He shook his head and smiled. It was good that both Goten and Trunks got to have a playmate. Gohan never had that luxury growing up. It was good that Goten and Trunks got to grow up in such a peaceful environment. Nothing had come to bother the Earth. No major battles had been necessary. Maybe Goku was right about attracting trouble. Either way, he was glad that little kids got to grow up without having to deal with all the heartache and trauma-inducing issues.

Gohan was amazed that he hadn't exhibited any signs of living through traumatic times. Though he supposed he had his mother, and father to thank for that. As well as his father's friends and his own mentor, Mr. Piccolo. He probably didn't visit Piccolo as much as he should, though he _had_ taken Goten up to see him a few times now. It was just so much easier to sit at home and fall into routine, even if it was different from the crazy days of training and impending death battles.

Of course his routine would be broken soon. In the next year. He'd be going to high school. Trying to pretend to be a normal kid. It would be so nice to be normal, to fit in with other teenagers his age, to go through what they go through. He couldn't wait, even if his stomach was still a mess of knots over his nervousness. And it wasn't even _that_ soon. He still had to take the test to get in. Maybe that's why he was nervous.

As he approached his house off the country road, Gohan frowned at seeing his brother sitting outside all alone. Was he in trouble? Or was he just bored? It was hard to tell with that kid. Chi-Chi claimed Goten's antics were a sign that he'd been influenced by Trunks, but Gohan was pretty sure his little brother had a mischievous side to him all along. Still… to be sitting in the grass looking so forlorn… had Mom yelled at him over something?

"Hey, bro," Gohan called as he walked up to Goten. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"

Hunched over as he sat in the grass, Goten looked up slowly, wiping at his eyes a bit. "N-nothing!"

"Did Mom do something to upset you?"

Goten shook his head and looked down at the grass again, pulling a few clumps out of the ground. "No, I think I did something to upset her."

"Oh?" Gohan asked, crouching down to be at his level. "What'd you do?"

To his surprise, Goten glanced away. "I don't wanna talk about it. Not yet."

Taking in a deep breath, Gohan decided to brush it to the side. No point in digging deeper if Goten wasn't in the mood. Somethings were best left to yourself to handle, after all. Besides, knowing his little brother, it would probably pass in no time. He could help him along, though. Maybe if he found something to distract the boy. Like visiting someone?

He shrugged at the thought. Well, it wouldn't hurt. He hadn't seen Piccolo in a while and he'd been thinking about the Namekian mentor earlier anyway.

"Hey, Goten," he said, "you want to go with me to see Mr. Piccolo?"

Bright eyes found his immediately. It was almost laughable how easy it was to get his brother's spirits up. Even the little things could make him smile again. Or at the very least, it wasn't too big of a deal whatever he'd done to be upset over. Or whatever their mom had fussed at him for.

"Yeah!" Goten exclaimed, hopping to his feet. "Can I ride Nimbus?"

Gohan laughed. "Sure. Nimbus knows how to get there, so I bet we could even race, if you want."

"I bet Nimbus is faster than you!"

"Hah, you think?" Gohan grinned, climbing up to his feet and brushing his pants off. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Hang on a second, though. I need to tell mom we're leaving and uh, drop a few things off. Wait right here. It won't be long."

"Mmkay."

Well, Goten certainly seemed happier now. That wasn't hard at all. Smiling to himself, Gohan opened the door to their house and stepped in, surprised that his mother wasn't in the kitchen like normal. A few steps down the hallway revealed why. She was sitting on the couch in the living room, flipping through a photo book. Glancing over her shoulder, he noticed there were pictures of his father among them. Strange. He thought she'd packed everything away in storage to avoid the harsh memories.

Maybe she was getting better too. Grief was harsh and it could take forever to climb up out of its depths, but they'd done well to make the climb anyway. Goten was a lot of help. He was sure of that. A little light of a blessing in disguise. Keeping them going.

"Hey, Mom," he said, drawing her attention. "I'm going to take Goten to see Mr. Piccolo."

Chi-Chi nodded and let out a breath of a sigh. "Oh, good. That'll give him something fun to do."

"Did something happen?"

She shook her head. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with. You're both your father's sons. That much I'll say."

"Oh," he blinked and then shrugged. "Okay."

A quick run to his room to drop off his bag and books, and then Gohan returned back to the outside to grin at Goten. His little brother was up and chasing a butterfly, even though he didn't have anything with him to try catching the thing. He ran around in circles, reaching for what was currently out of reach. Gohan half expected his brother to call the butterfly _Daddy_ or something, but that phase had long been past now.

"All right, bro, you ready?"

At his voice, the little tike stopped running aimlessly and faced him with a grin. "Yeah!"

Grinning back, Gohan put his hands at either side of his mouth and shouted as loud as he possibly could. "NIMBUS!"

The fluffy family cloud didn't take too long to appear, pulling up right in front of Gohan, almost begging the teen to jump on. Maybe he should fly Nimbus more often. He wondered if a cloud could ever feel upset if people weren't riding him. But no, that didn't make sense. He was sure the magical cloud loved having his time off. It wasn't like Dad had used Nimbus all too often when Gohan was growing up anyway. They could all fly so why bother, right?

Though there were still plenty of opportunities to give the precious cloud a workout. "All right, Goten, go ahead and hop on and I'll race you to the Lookout. I'll even give you a head start, Nimbus."

"Hah!" Goten exclaimed as he jumped aboard the flying cloud. "We'll beat you there for sure this way, Gohan. Don't be sorry when we get there first!"

In a flash, the cloud was off into the sky, Goten clinging on and shouting in glee as the cloud took him through the air at maximum speed. Gohan watched for a little while, then floated up into the air and gathered his energy about him. He wouldn't even need to transform for this. He wanted to make it seem like a real challenge, otherwise Goten might be disappointed.

Another breath of air and Gohan was off, soaring through the clouds in the sky to catch up to the little yellow line in the distance. Eventually, they approached the Lookout hovering high above in the planet's atmosphere, a place where one could look down and see just about everything happening. A place where the Guardian of their planet resided. Granted, he knew that Guardian. Dende was like a close friend to him. Another thing he wouldn't be able to tell any of his friends at school once he went to high school.

What crazy person would admit to being friends with God? He'd get labeled a freak or weirdo in no time. But, still, this part of his life was so different from everyone else, and it was nice to keep it to himself, too.

Before Nimbus could actually beat him to the Lookout, Gohan pushed himself forward quickly with a burst of energy and flashed in front of Goten and the yellow cloud. Just in time to touch down on the tiles before Goten could hop off Nimbus. Then he turned a grin to his brother.

"Told ya it would be hard for Nimbus to beat me," he said as Goten huffed. "But it was close, huh?"

"Yeah," Goten said, hopping from the cloud to land beside him. "We'll beat you next time, Gohan."

Gohan smiled. "Sure thing. You can keep trying however long you want to, Goten."

"Well right now we need to find Mr. Piccolo."

As if being summoned by his name, Piccolo walked out from the depths of the Lookout and stepped across the tile, arms crossed and frowning as he looked between the two boys. Gohan grinned and waved. And Goten did the same.

Well, Goten did more, actually running up to the green alien and reaching out to tug on his white cloak. "Hey, Mr. Piccolo, could you tell me a story about my dad?"

Piccolo glanced to Gohan, and Gohan found himself shrugging. He didn't know why Goten had asked for a story. The most he'd thought about was giving his brother some time away from the house.

"Why are you asking me?" Piccolo asked, voice gruff as usual. "Gohan has better stories for you, I'm sure."

"Aw," Goten whined. "But you fought my dad once, didn't you? Can't you tell me about that?"

Gohan blinked. Sure, he had told Goten how Piccolo and Goku had fought once in a tournament, but he didn't think he ever wanted to know the details. He'd spent a lot of time feeding his brother's head with all the good things Goku had done. All the evil that his father had saved the world from. The ways he acted like a hero. The sacrifices he made. He hadn't really spent time on fights, especially not the stuff from before Gohan had even been born. He barely knew about those anyway.

Glancing to Piccolo, Gohan found himself wanting to hear the story as well. And so he spent the next couple minutes working with his brother to convince the Namekian to share a story of the past. A memory of a time long gone now. From before Goten and even Gohan was born.

They sat and listened closely, though Gohan started to drift into other thoughts after a while. His mother had seen this brutal fight play out before her eyes. No wonder she wasn't comfortable with him fighting all the time. No wonder she wanted something better for him.

And no wonder she'd been so startled when Piccolo had come over as a training partner. Gohan had seen the goodness inside Piccolo when he was just a small boy in the wilderness, when he had endured Piccolo's harsh training in that wasteland. But he'd never imagined that there had been so much hatred boiling inside him for years.

It really was a miracle that Piccolo and Goku had become friendly. But Goku just kind of had that effect on people, didn't he? Even Vegeta had come around in the end, showing up to help them fight Cell, even if his motivations had been different. And even Vegeta had acted a little torn up after Goku's sacrifice. Piccolo…

Well, he was hard to read, but he really had come a long way in all this time. It was hard to imagine what he would have been like if Gohan had never reached out or if Goku had never accepted him.

But that's the kind of thing heroes did. They changed people. For the better.

Maybe Gohan was his father's legacy after all. Maybe Goten wasn't the only one carrying a bright light around ready to share with anyone who needed to be pulled from the darkness.


	7. Reunion

**Lights**

 **Chapter 7:** Reunion

"All right!" Gohan exclaimed as he walked out of the house and pressed the button on his watch to make his Great Saiyaman outfit appear. "Today's the day. Are you ready, Goten?"

"Yeah!"

Goten jumped to his feet and pumped his fist in the air. He'd been outside waiting for them to finish getting ready for the tournament today. Well. They were both still waiting on their mother of course, but that was natural. She must have made sure Goten was good and ready before she did anything for herself.

And he must have gone outside to be sure he wasn't in the way. Goten was dressed in his _gi_ , since he was being allowed to participate in the tournament as well. Seeing his little brother in that still made Gohan pause for a moment.

So much like their dad. Like a little spark of a memory left behind. A little light of the good moments of the past to carry around with them at all times…

Gohan shook his head at the thoughts and bent over a little to talk more directly to his little brother. "You excited? Or nervous?"

"Uhm..." Goten glanced down. "A little of both, I think."

Gohan smiled. "I guess you would be nervous. This is the first time you get to see Dad, huh?"

With a slow nod, his little brother glanced off to the side. His fingers danced in front of him like a nervous gesture one step away from wringing his hands. Gohan may have known there was nothing to be worried about, but Goten didn't have anything except stories to go off of here.

He had to wonder…

What _had_ he told Goten about their father? All the good things, he was sure. Except he hadn't wanted to dwell on it for the longest time. Speaking of Goku had become easier over the years, but it sure was difficult at first. Mom had told stories, too. She -

"Gohan?"

A small hand tugged at his pants leg and Gohan blinked down at his little brother. "What is it, Goten?"

"Dad...he's...the strongest in the whole universe, right?"

"Yep!" Gohan grinned. "So-"

"And he used to train all the time, right?"

"Uh huh..." Gohan said as he rubbed the back of his head. "He's probably still training in the afterlife, too, since he got to keep his body."

Goten hummed, glancing down again with a mumble in his voice. "Then does that mean he's like Trunks' dad?"

Gohan blinked. Once. Twice. Three times before he found his voice.

Only for his words to get caught in his throat. "Huh?"

"Well, Trunks says his dad is super strong and _he's_ always training. So, if Dad acts like Vegeta, too, then -"

"Oh, heaven's no."

This voice wasn't from Gohan, but the exasperated tone of his mother. He turned to see Chi-Chi striding up to them, finally dressed and ready to leave. She squatted down beside Goten and patted gently at his hair.

"Don't you worry about a thing, Goten," their mom said, a smile sliding onto her face as a soothing tone smoothly left her lips. "Your father is nothing like Vegeta. Sure, they both are completely _obsessed_ with training but their personalities aren't the same at all. He's going to love you at first sight. Trust me. You'll be fine."

Goten nodded, his shoulders more relaxed now. "Okay. I'm still nervous, though."

"That's okay," Gohan said with a grin, glancing up to the bright sunshine falling down on their little family. "His light is bright enough to melt all your fears away."

~!~

Gohan glanced around the area. Everyone was here. Ready for the tournament. They still had time to sign up and register. But... No, everyone wasn't here. They were missing someone. Someone important. Someone they had all showed up to see in the first place.

Where was his father?

The air was buzzing with the sound of crowds of people talking. A nice breeze blew through the nearby trees and bushes. The sun shone brightly on the walkway and contestants. But still.

It felt a little...empty.

He could hear his mother, worrying over it, too. Where was Goku? Where was the person they had all gathered together to meet? Maybe they weren't able to bring him back for the day after all. Maybe something went wrong. So often, things went wrong so it wasn't hard to imagine.

But…

Goten pointed out Mr. Piccolo in the shade of a tree, and Gohan happily ran up to his old mentor. Even with his sunglasses on he could still see the taller figure standing away from the crowds. Piccolo never had been much of a people person. He'd always been a loner, even if he was welcome among their families anytime he wished.

He asked if Piccolo had seen his father, receiving a negative in response. No one had spotted him yet, then. No one could feel him. That _ki_ should have been easy to pick up. Goku didn't just show up and not be noticed. His _ki_ was too strong, too bright for that… So… where…?

Just as Krillin announced that he would search around, a sudden warmth filled the area. A hole closing up and filling with a familiar touch. A _ki_ hitting his senses. A _ki_ he knew like no other.

Gohan turned and faced the direction of the feeling, his eyes misting behind his sunglasses. He was here at last. His father, Goku, had returned to Earth. Gohan...could hardly believe it. There his dad stood in front of all of them, the center of attention like always, and yet none of them could move. Gohan could barely breathe. He could feel that warm presence again, a presence he had carried deep in his heart even through the absence that now was no longer memory but really _there_ once more. The presence of his ever-glowing father.

And that oh-so-calming grin.

"Hey! You guys sure have changed quite a bit, huh?" The familiar voice rang out through the air, as everything else seemed to go silent, or at least Gohan stopped caring about the noise of crowds moving in the area. His father! Here at last! "Even so, how have you been?"

That presence, that grin, that _voice_. Gohan was tearing up more and more with each passing second, not having a care if the others were or not. His father was back! For the day or not, he was _here_.

Not wanting to waste anymore time, Gohan rushed forward, nearly stumbling in his effort to wrap his dad in a hug. He beat the others there, claiming his dad's arms first. They could wait. This was his father. And it had been _seven years_.

Seven years trying to deal with the pain of no longer having his dad. Seven years of moving on. He'd made it. Him and his mom, both. They'd pushed through the pain and continued on with life. But seeing his father here almost opened it all up again. He ignored the halo. Pretended it was going to be for more than a day. Twenty-four hours suddenly didn't seem like enough time. Not enough time at all. How were they even going to spend the day after the tournament? He should have planned more…

"Haha, Gohan, you must've hit your growth spurt, huh?" His father had his arms around him, patting his back. "Looks like you did a good job taking care of your mother. I'm proud of you."

"Dad..."

He wanted to say more, but the words got choked up in his throat. So he pulled back from the hug and tried to breathe, laughing a little at the tears still dripping from his eyes. Gohan reached up to scrub at his cheeks and under his sunglasses. Well. Crying was a little embarrassing, but he had a good reason so it didn't really matter, did it? He could tell that his dad was smiling through it all anyway, not even taking notice – or pretending _not_ to notice.

As he stepped to the side and allowed his father to greet everyone else, he thought he noticed a spark of a shine in his father's eyes as well. Maybe the friends and family Goku had been separated from weren't the only ones feeling the emotion. In fact, the interaction between his parents proved how good they were at holding back. The way they looked at each other… The way they spoke…

Gohan had to grin. Warmth filled his chest seeing his parents interact like that. Like a couple who had been separated for so long, finally able to see each other after no doubt sleepless nights. He could feel it from _both_ of them. And it made his heart warm to know as such.

 _Yeah, Mom missed you Dad, but you missed her too, huh?_

How many people got to see their father, their husband, again after he had died? Goku was dead. He shouldn't have been allowed to come back at all. No one else got to. And yet…

Here he was. Together. With all of them. One day or not, this was special. It filled every hole that had been made over the years. Sure, they had worked to build bridges over those holes, but now things were filled. At least for now. At least for a while. At least...until the day was over.

But best not to think of that now. Best to enjoy the time they had.

And…

Oh right… Goten was meeting their dad for the first time.

Gohan stood back with the others as Goku moved ahead to get closer to Chi-Chi and Goten. Goten hid behind their mom's leg, clinging to her dress. He really was nervous about this after all, even after all Gohan had said to try to encourage him and promise him it would be all right. He supposed it didn't matter too much. Their dad would shine his light and Goten would understand in no time.

Peeking out from behind Chi-Chi's leg, Goten stared up at their dad. For his part, Goku simply waited in silence, though he looked down with a smile. A moment passed where the two sized each other up. A spark of something brushed across Gohan's senses and he noticed that his dad had pushed his ki out a little. Just a little. Like a hesitant touch.

After that, Goten practically sprang from his mother's side and rushed to his father. Laughter filled the air as Goku picked up his second son, and Gohan sat in the back with the others, smiling at the interaction. Things had gone over well after all. He knew they would.

Of course they would.

Everyone liked Goku. His dad had a presence that you couldn't deny, a light that had been passed from him to Goten, an ever-present light that made everything around them brighter.

Seeing the two together, Gohan could have sworn that the world grew twice as bright around them. All the memories of the past seven years hit him, the memories of Goten's moments that had stuck with him. Moments when Goten had...saved them. In a smile. In a laugh. In a word.

"He never did leave, did he?" Gohan muttered under his breath. "Did you, Dad? You left us Goten, intentionally or not. You left us your light. And now..."

 _Now you can share in it yourself._

~!~

 _ **The End**_

~!~

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this. Thank you to those who are reading and not reviewing. Thank you to anyone who enjoys this work. I had a good time slowly working my way through Gohan's head over the seven years. I hope the ending pays off. I feel like I either pushed the theme too hard or not hard enough, but ah well. I had feels at the end.

Guest: What happened between Goten and Chi-Chi, you ask? Well. I was trying to (yes, vaguely) allude to the moment when Goten went Super Saiyan against Chi-Chi in one of their sparring sessions and she was upset by it, which in turn made Goten upset by it. Gohan does figure it out later but at that moment, I don't think he even knew Chi-Chi was training Goten, much less that Goten could go Super Saiyan. So I had to keep it vague to stay true to that. BUT – that's what I was thinking of. Hah.


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